Big appetites.
Meet Kiwi couples and singles who keep it quiet and keep it fun.
- Couples and singles
- First-timers welcome
- Private photo galleries
- Adults only, 18+
Swinging in New Zealand: Low-Key, Friendly and Open to All
In a country where your swinger date might turn out to be your cousin's dentist, discretion is everything. ComeSwinging welcomes Kiwi couples and singles, first-timers and old hands, who'd like to explore the lifestyle quietly and in good company.
Kiwis joke that everyone here is two handshakes from everyone else, and anyone who's tried swinging in this country knows it's barely a joke. That's why Kiwi swingers tend to be thoughtful about it: they chat for longer, meet a little further from home, and keep what happens between the people who were there. The result is a scene that's friendly, trusting and refreshingly low on drama.
Keeping It Quiet in a Two-Degrees Country
A few habits keep your private life private while you get to know people:
- Use a nickname. Your actual first name can wait until you've met and liked each other.
- Keep your clearer photos private. Show one tasteful picture publicly and open your gallery only to people you trust.
- Leave out the giveaways. Your suburb, your workplace and your gym have no place on a swinging profile.
- Meet off your own patch. A bar in the next town means fewer friendly waves from people you'd rather not explain things to.
- Agree a cover story. If you do bump into someone you know, "old friends from uni" works every time.
First Steps for Kiwi Couples
New Zealand newcomers tend to be cautious, which serves them well. Have a proper yarn at home first, about what appeals, what doesn't and the word that means "we're heading off". Say on your profile that you're new; seasoned Kiwi couples are usually patient and happy to go gently. A first meet is a coffee or a drink, full stop. Many couples dip a toe in with a soft swap, keeping sex for each other while everything else is shared, and some never feel the need to go further. When you're ready to, read about Kiwi couples who swap partners.
A Kiwi Opening
Friendly, a bit dry, and easy to answer.
Thursday, 8:05pm
Kia ora. Your profile says "keen for a yarn and maybe more". We're keen on both.
Ha, good answer. Drinks in Wellington next Friday? We'll pick somewhere quiet.
Sweet as. We'll be the couple pretending we've never done this before.
Example messages
North Island, South Island, and the Bit In Between
In Auckland there are couples in every suburb, and you can be choosy about distance. Wellington and Christchurch have their own lively circles. Further out, you'll want to widen your search, and plenty of members happily drive an hour or two to meet, or plan a weekend so nobody's on the road late. A cross-strait friendship can work too, with a good ferry timetable and a sense of adventure.
Summer changes everything. Long evenings, warm nights, and a bach at the beach with another couple is about as good as a New Zealand weekend gets. Couples who've met over the winter often save the bach weekend for when the weather turns.
Swinging in New Zealand: Questions
Is there much of a swinging scene in New Zealand?
More than most people would guess, and very discreet. It's mostly ordinary Kiwi couples who've decided to explore together, spread from Northland to Southland, with the busiest circles around Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.
How do Kiwi swingers avoid being recognised?
Nicknames, private photos, and first meets away from their own suburb or town. Most chat for a good while first, so they know each other before anyone's face is in the same room, and nothing leaves the site until they choose to swap numbers.
What's a bach weekend?
Two couples who've met before share a bach or holiday home for a weekend: swims, a barbecue, a few drinks and rather more besides once the sun goes down. It's a favourite summer plan, and a relaxed way to get to know a couple properly.
Do singles take part?
Yes. Single women are always welcome, and single men do well when they're polite, patient and content to let the couple lead.
Keep It Quiet. Keep It Fun.
Make a discreet profile and see which Kiwi couples are near you.